It’s that time of year again. It’s been 52 weeks of non-stop “momming,” and it’s time for us to break out the wine glasses. Drop your kids off at grandma’s or leave them home with dad, because it’s OUR day. Our one, singular, solitary day.
I know that may not be a popular way to look at Mother’s Day, but it’s certainly the way I look at it.
I was invited this year to take my kids to the zoo, and I declined. I didn’t want to spend the day driving 4 hours round trip just so I could deal with my children in a crowded, animal-smelling, kid-infested zoo. Did I also mention that it’s supposed to be 80 degrees that day? No thanks.
The other option given to me was to go to a family dinner with my own mother, my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousin. I would’ve had to drive two hours to get there, spend the whole day with my kids and family members, then drive home. I do that for every major holiday already, and I didn’t really want to do it on Mother’s Day.
Most of my friends who have children are spending it with their kids, and most of my friends who don’t have children are spending it with their moms. Some of them made their choices based on what they wanted to do, but others made their choice out of guilt or societal expectations. I don’t take any issue with someone who wants to spend time with their family, but I definitely feel bad for the others. They’re going to wake up on Monday morning feeling like they have to wait another entire year to get a break, and possibly regretting that they missed their chance to enjoy their holiday. They might even feel like they aren’t appreciated for what they’ve given their families, which can lead to pent-up resentment and dissatisfaction with their lives.
This is also where the guys need to step up (some, not all), because as a mother, I know how hard it is to slow down and take time for “me”. Steven (my wonderful husband) has to remind me to do things for myself, and he encourages me to take Mother’s Day as a free day. He doesn’t complain, and he definitely doesn’t guilt me the day after. Overall, he makes me feel loved, appreciated, and free to seize the day. Shout-out to all the wonderful husbands who do this. To the men who don’t, think about it.
I decided that I’m going to spend the morning with my family, but that evening me and my friends are going out for tacos and margaritas. Steven is going to his mom’s house for dinner, and he’s going to pick me up after I’m done – even if it’s late. No diaper changes, no disciplining, no headaches, and unlimited margaritas!
I fully plan to return the favor next month when it’s Father’s Day. He doesn’t have to be “#1 Dad,” he can just be “Steven.”
Don’t get the wrong idea, I LOVE my children with the deepest, most purest love I could ever possibly give to any person. Sometimes though, I just need a break. I don’t want to spend every second of every day with ANYONE, my kids included. Love doesn’t make up for exhaustion.
Sure, some people may see this as a “bad mom” thing, but I’m just not sure I really care.
Props to all the mom’s who want to spend the day with their kids, but that’s just not me.
Don’t feel bad if you also need a little space on Sunday. It’s called “Mother’s” Day, not “Do Stuff For Your Family All Day, Just Like A Normal Day” Day.
What are you doing for Mother’s Day? Let me know in the comments!